Our Summer Trip 2017

 

 

When I left home, with my wife Cathy, almost three weeks ago, I had planned to chronicle our trip. Each day I would write about the day, the places we went and the people we met. We left California on August 23^rd with plans to visit six cities in five states with transition stops in two other cities. The chronicling idea sounded so good at the time. I had my camera and was set to go.

But now, as I sit on a plane heading back to San Jose, California I can’t get excited about the idea. Best laid plans, as the saying goes.

The trip came together a while back in a very eclectic kind of way.  Our first stop was in Queens, New York; the original destination to celebrate our granddaughter’s first birthday. The last stop was Cleveland, Ohio to participate in the unveiling of my mother’s headstone at the cemetery; a Jewish tradition that we wanted to do for my mother.

Ironically, we had made a similar trip about one year ago to visit our newly born granddaughter, but ended up in Cleveland when my mother took ill and ultimately passed away. Now we were heading back with the same bookends of a trip.

The Cleveland part of the trip had to be delayed when my brother and sister-in-law were not able to come to Cleveland until two weeks after our scheduled trip to New York. This started a chain reaction of adding stops in between. First addition was a reunion with a small group of college friends at Nottely Lake, just north of Atlanta. Then came the visits with two long-time friends whom we hadn’t seen in years. To fill time before heading to Cleveland, we added a couple of days in Kentucky to do the Bourbon Trail.

The bookends had been set and now the middle was filled. Queens, New York and Cleveland, Ohio were clear destinations, but now we had a trip that was nearly three weeks long. It just didn’t make sense to fly back to California after our granddaughter’s birthday and then fly to Cleveland about a week later.

Once the trip was set my hope was to gather insights into the different regions of the country we were visiting and the people who live there. While some of that did happen, I found myself seeing most of the people more similar than different. I could write about the differences I had seen, but realized that would be putting the emphasis on the wrong things. Those are the things that divide us rather than bring us together.

I enjoyed seeing all the different cultures, eating different foods, hearing unique accents, and observing a wide variety of architectures, but it was the people themselves and their behaviors that caught most of my attention.

From our hippy friends in Sylva, North Carolina who live in a tiny house at the top of a hill, to our friends in Hendersonville, North Carolina who live in a huge home with tons of acreage, to our college friends we met at Nottely Lake, just north of Atlanta, I experienced wonderful, loving, caring, and hospitable people.

People back home had warned me about the places I would be visiting and the “kind of people” I might meet. Being from California I was concerned I might be viewed as a foreigner. People said I would be in “Trump country”; whatever that meant.

But now, all of my memories of the people I encountered on our trip are positive. The restaurant staffs in every state and city all wanted to make my experience great. The server at Mammy’s in Bardsville, Kentucky wanted to make sure I knew exactly what I was getting when I ordered Kentucky Hot Brown. While I’m pretty much a health nut when it comes to what I eat, I decided to let loose on this trip so I could experience the local foods and libations. The server was incredibly patient when Cathy had trouble deciding what bourbon cocktail to order; eventually having the bartender come to our table to hear what she likes and then mix her a great drink.

The guy at the little lunch place on the grounds of the Buffalo Trace Distillery who got excited when we asked what “Burgoo” was. He gave us the history of how the locals would make it and quickly offered us a sample to taste. Both Cathy and I ordered a cup.

In most of our encounters people wanted to know where we were from and Cathy was always quick to say “California.” No sneering or rolling of the eyes, but rather, a welcome to wherever we were. Yes, I know most of these people are in the service business and depend on people like us to make a living. Maybe I’m being Pollyannaish, but, based on what I saw and felt, they were truly being genuine.

We did see a sticker on a car driving in front of us one day that said, “I survived Obama and you will survive Trump.” I just took that as more therapeutic counsel than a jab at folks like me. That person probably did feel the same way that I feel for the eight years Obama was in office. The person in that car sees the world differently than I do, but probably has a family and loves them the same way I love my family. Why should I hate that person for having different views?

I watched some of our college friends enjoy the jug of Carlo Rossi wine during our stay at the lake. Cathy and I are into wine and decided to buy a couple of bottles that we like to take to dinner one night. The fun and interesting thing was that “Carlo” became part of the group, even gaining a personality. Our friends brought “Carlo” to dinner and even dressed the bottle with a visor from our University. We also included “Carlo” in our final group picture.

When I arrived at a Deli, in Cleveland, Ohio, to have breakfast with old high school friends, I had a moment to discuss politics with my friend Bruce, before the rest of our buddies arrived. Bruce and I had been exchanging emails for a while debating liberal vs. conservative points of view. As I briefly talked with Bruce I said, “You know, I’ll be that we are close to 80% aligned on things and only 20% misaligned, and he quickly agreed. I want to understand his points of view and not focus on trying to change them, and I would hope he could do the same with me.

I could go on and on with stories from our eclectic travels, but the common theme was interactions with people all of whom were extremely nice, while in many cases quite different. Different regions, cultures, political views, economic status, working, retired, old and young. Yet, they are all people and, in the case of our travels, mostly Americans.

I set out to chronicle all of the differences and, while there were many, I keep focusing on all of the similarities we have.

Almost three weeks ago, as I prepared for this trip, I never would have imagined writing about my trip this way.

I’m returning home with more hope than desperation. We are good, loving people. Yes, there are people on the fringes on both sides, but there will always be people on the fringes. Rather than trying to change the fringes, let’s focus on the vast majority of us who really want the same basic things. Better to find compromise and get most of what we want rather than fight and get nothing.

We are living in some difficult times now and the power of a unified country can make a huge difference in providing what most of us really need and want; it might not perfect, but through compromise, moving in the right direction.

My trip, while only a small sample experience, showed me we can have different view and even argue and debate for them, yet still care about one-another as human beings- Americans, fighting for a better life for ourselves, our children, and our grandchildren.

Look at yourself and find a way to look at others for the common ground, not the differences. Hurricanes Harvey and Irma proved that we can come together to help people in need. When people donate money or their time for relief efforts they don’t ask what the political parties or religious affiliations are of the people in need.

The “Dreamer” who lost his life in Houston while trying to save someone, didn’t hold back because he and 800,000 Dreamers are under attack.

We do have common enemies like North Korea, Russia, and Terrorists. These are the people we should focus on, not other Americans.

I remember my high school football coach saying, “The last four letters in American spell, I can.” I thought that was so corny at the time, and it may still be. But we are all Americans and “we can.” Let’s come together while we can and not wait for disasters to make it happen. Let’s fight to make life better for all Americans.

This is what my trip taught me and I feel good about my learning.

I know this will come across as an idealistic “rah-rah” speech, but never, in my wildest dreams, would I have expected this to come out of my head after our trip; but it did.